im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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