another moral hangover. fuck.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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