I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
