How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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