just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You took a bar mat shot.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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