uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
