Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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