I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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