Small penises have feelings too.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
