i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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