How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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