i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
