Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Randomize