Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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