Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
