Soap is not a condiment
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Randomize
