One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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