i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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