We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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