When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
