I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
did i walk over a car last night?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Randomize
