Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
