Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
