I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
its liver damage thursday
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
