Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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