I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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