would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
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