I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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