I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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