Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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