i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
