We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
We smell like vodka and hangover
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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