So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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