Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
