We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
