Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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