So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
