I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
