There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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