She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
