So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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