I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
