ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Rumble strips road head = magical
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
