Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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