I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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