That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Randomize
