hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
