It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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