That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
