So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
