these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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