I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
