I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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