He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
