he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
