what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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