i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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