Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
