Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
