What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
