I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
What drink are we having for lunch?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
