i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
