At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
