Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
